Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
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