I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
