um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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