i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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