We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
