I don't think brook has ever known best
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
