I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Randomize
