bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
He did a backflip because drugs
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
