just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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