The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
