yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
