I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
