You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize