your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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