hotel room ftw
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
