I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
