Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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