it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
