I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize