I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
