Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
