lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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