I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
