whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
