How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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