i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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