yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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