I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Randomize
