I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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