Sry I called you an 8
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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