just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Damn victory sex feels great
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
