In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I feel like abortions should bother me more
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
