Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Randomize
