he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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