meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
oh god the rape fog is back!
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
