We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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