toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
