i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
