If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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