so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
