So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize