is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
