i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
