those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Life is so much better after having sex.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Randomize
