Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Please, let me fuck your mom
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
