Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
