I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
she was so not down for the gang bang
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
