You just made me feel so damn special
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
