I CAN MOONWALK!
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
