great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
