Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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