If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
