How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
