Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
