thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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