He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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