I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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