I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
